Saturday, March 28, 2009
I read this book last summer (before I started my blog) and I was thinking about it and wanted to let you guys know what I thought about it.
I feel every parent, grandparent, teacher, and anyone that has anything to do with children should read this book. You can go to Gary Chapman's web site here to see a description about the book.
There are 5 basic love languages...(not in any particular order)
1) Physical Touch
2) Quality Time
3) Words of Affirmation
5) Acts of Service
He believes that everyone "speaks" all of these languages, but everyone has a primary love language. This is true for children and adults (he has other books on adults, etc.), but he focuses on children in this particular book.
I pegged my older 2 children right away, Champ is a 'physical touch' child and Lee teeters between 'quality time' and 'words of affirmation' (most of the time he is quality time). You should not decide what a child's love language is until he/she is at least 5 years old. It could also change throughout a child's life.
The book helps people in dealing with their children. For example if you are an 'Acts of Service' person you enjoy doing things for other people and enjoy having people do things for you. But if your child is physical touch child, he/she may not understand your love.
You are doing what makes you feel good and loved (baking them cookies, doing their laundry, etc.) and think that you are telling them you love them (because that's what you under stand - 'Acts of Service'). Your child may not feel very loved because he/she is a 'Physical Touch' child and would much prefer hugs and kisses to homemade cookies, etc. It's not that you don't love your child or that they don't love you it's just a break down in communication. (The same goes for husband and wife, but that's another book - check out Gary Chapman's web site for that book and others.)
It was very enlightening to me. It goes more in depth on how to tell what primary love language your child speaks and how to communicate with him/her if you do not speak the same primary love language.
I truely love my children and it would break my heart to think that they may not know I love them because they couldn't understand me.
I have also purchased Chapman's book the 5 Love Languages of Apology (but I haven't read it yet). The 5 Love Languages (primarily for couples) is on my list of books to read this year also.
Have you read any of these books? If so, what did you think about them? Which is your favorite?