Friday, October 9, 2009
I just finished the book 'Love & Respect' by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (Thomas Nelson Publishers).
This book centered around the scripture Ephesians 5:33, "Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." I have often wondered why a man is told to love his wife, but a wife is told to respect her husband. That is one scripture that I never fully understood. I think that Dr. Eggerichs did a good job on explaining the importance of that scripture to a marriage.
He talks about the 'Crazy Cycle' in his book. Without Love -> she reacts -> Without Respect -> he reacts -> Without Love -> (do you see where this is going?). He has a great diagram in his book to explain it better. He also talks about an 'Energizing Cycle' and a 'Rewarded Cycle.' (Why and how you should still try to use his principles on your marriage even if your spouse is not cooperative.)
I really enjoyed the book. It made me look at the way I treat my husband and the way he perceives that he is being treated and vice versa (they are not always the same). On occasion, when Dr. Eggerichs address wives, he asks a very thought provoking question..."Are you treating your husband the way you would want your son to be treated by his wife?" Wow, what an eye opener and since I am the mother of 4 boys, this really hit home with me.
When I was around other couples, I became aware of how they were treating each other and how they perceived they were being treated by their spouse. After reading this book, I am very aware of how people come across (which very often is not the way they think they are coming across) to others. Communication (in all forms - body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, etc.) is extremely important in a marriage.
So if you are struggling in your marriage, or if you have a good marriage, but would like to make it better or if you just want to please Christ with your marriage and your role as a spouse - this is a good read. I highly recommend it.