Marriage is...

" A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers."

~Ruth Bell Graham

Project 5

Project #5
E-flirt.com

Text or E-mail Some Sweet Nothings

“I turn on my computer. I wait patiently as it connects. I go online. My breath catches in my chest until I hear three little words, “You’ve got Mail.” I hear nothing, not a sound on the streets of New York. Just the beat of my own heart… I have mail, from you.”
Meg Ryan as Kathleen Kennedy in “You’ve Got Mail”
Your Project
Send a flirty text or e-mail to your husband.

Getting Creative

• Use an e-card service (hallmark.com or americangreetings.com) to send a cute and flirty note.
• Don’t know how to text? Ask any teenager in the general vicinity.
• Most phones have a camera feature where you can send a photo message. Be sure to keep it G rated so that he doesn’t get in trouble at work.

Project 4

Project #4
Heart vs. Stomach

A Treat Just for Him

 “You can tell a lot about a fellow’s character by his way of eating jellybeans.”
Ronald Reagan

Your Project:
Get a food treat for your husband that he’s not required to share with you or any other family member.

Getting Creative
Stumped for ideas? Here are some thoughts:

• Get his favorite pint of Ben & Jerry’s and hide it behind the frozen chicken. Even if you buy it on Tuesday, you’ll have it ready and waiting for his special night later in the week.
• Is there a certain cut of meat that your husband loves? How about having the butcher cut something just for him? Most supermarkets will even do the marinade for you – one less thing to think about.
• Is there a certain candy that your husband loves from his childhood? Check out www.candywarehouse.com. They have all the nostalgic candy you could want (Black Jack Gum, anyone?) while also carrying any modern favorite you could be looking for.
• My husband’s family loves something called “noodles and mashed potatoes” (we lovingly refer to it as “The Starch Fest”). I learned how to make this special dish just for him.
• My guy loves the smell of baking almost as much as he enjoys eating the treat. Have some brownies in the oven when he gets home from work or working out. (I know, it negates the workout, but isn’t chocolate always worth it?)
• Our friend Scott mentioned that he loves cranberry sauce, but eats it only at Thanksgiving. His wife intentionally made the holiday treat for him this past July.
• Are you a wife who is an expert at low-cal salads and other forms of chick-food? Check out The Ultimate Guide to Man Food at www.kathilipp.com for ideas

My Reason for Wanting to be a Better Wife...

When we first got married, I just thought what happens happens. A few years ago I began to reflect on things...my life, my marriage, me.

I'm not sure who said "The only person you can change, is you." I don't know when I first heard it, but I really began to think about that quote.

If you have a bad marriage, it's possible that you can make it a good marriage. If you have a good marriage, don't you think you can make it a better marriage? Can't things always get better (just like they can always get worse)?

I have read several books trying to help me be a better wife...

The Husband Project by Kathi Lipp
Created to be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl
The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie O'Martian
His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley Jr.
Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

I feel like I have come a long way from where I started as a wife, but I know that I still have a long way to go. What happens, doesn't just happen. It's what we make of it. I have gained something from each of the books that I have read and I try to continue to gain more knowledge of being a great wife. The book that I have gotten the most help from though is the Bible. There are countless verses on how to be the wife that God created me to be.

I think that if I become a better wife, in turn I will be a better Christian. If I become a better Christian, in turn I will be a better wife. I will continue to try to do both and with God's help, I will continue to grow as a wife and Christian.

One thing that really opened my eyes concerning my skills as a wife and really made me want to try harder to be the best wife I could possibly be was a quote from the second wife/marriage book I read (Created to be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl). I cannot remember the exact quote and I am having trouble finding it, but it goes something like this..."Would you want your son to marry someone like you?"

I need to be a good wife (1) because that's what God wants me to do and that's what he created me to do, (2) because my husband deserves it and (3) to model to my sons what kind of wife they should look for. If I am disrespectful to my husband, my sons will think that they should marry someone that is disrespectful to them, etc. (You can change the word disrespectful for any number of words.)

I have been praying since I knew I was pregnant with my first child, for each of them to have a good spouse. One that loves and respects them, one that they can truly become one with, one that will make the rest of their lives beautiful and not miserable.

Well, I hope you are doing the 5 Day Challenge (The Husband Project) with me. I also, subscribe to i-MOM's Espresso Minute (daily e-mail) and I found some things that go right along with Kathi's Husband Project. Check them out...

The 30 Day Marriage Challenge
The 15 Minute Marriage Boost (which has other links to help improve your marriage)

I encourage every wife (young and old, newly wedded or married for years) to try to be a better wife to your husband.  Wouldn't you like him to do the same for you?

"Do to others as you would have them do to you."  Luke 6:31 NIV


See that big smile above?  That's my reward.  I want to know that he smiles because of me (not frowns because of me), I want to know that he is happier for marrying me and that he doesn't regret the decision he made to spend the rest of his life with ME!

Project 3

Project #3
You da’ Man

Spreading Great Gossip About Your Guy

Your Project:
Say something nice about your husband to someone else. Make sure you tell him what you said, and to whom.

 Getting Creative
Who are the important people in your husband’s life? Your kids, his parents, his friends? Be intentional about who you chat with when you brag on him – it’s almost as important as actually doing it.
Having a hard time coming up with something? I still brag on my guy for things he did years ago. He loves when I tell the story of how brilliantly he proposed (there were waterfalls and stuffed portabella mushrooms involved…).

Here are some other areas to think about when crafting your brag:

• His parenting skills
• His patience level
• The way he treats your mom
• His culinary ability
• His job
• His loyalty to you

Project 2

Project #2Back in the Day

Do Something He Enjoyed Before You Got Married

“Lust is easy.  Love is hard.  Like is most important.”  ~ Carl Reiner

Your Project:

Initiate an activity that your husband used to love. Whether it’s his favorite hobby, sport, or pastime, it’s time for you to get involved – be his buddy today.

Getting Creative

• Many a man’s hobby has gone by the wayside due to matrimony. Is it possible that it’s time you learned to golf or fly fish? Don’t try to beat him, just join him.
• Possibly the only thing your husband would enjoy more than playing chess with you is teaching you how to play chess.  Ask for a lesson so he can teach you something that he is an expert at (or really loves). Just your willingness to learn will be a huge boost to your guy.
• Pick up a magazine about your guy’s now dormant hobby. Ask him questions about why he loves it so much. Learn a couple of technical terms so that you are better able to discuss it.
• Do a little research. Find out what the definitive website is on your husband’s favorite subject. Maybe there’s an event in town, a lecture to attend, or a game to watch.

Project 1

Project #1

30 Minutes is All it Takes

Create Some Free Time When He Gets Home

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

Your Project:

Focus on your husbands transitional 30 minutes today. Would he like to be left alone to rest and rejuvenate, or does he want some undivided attention from you? The point is to let your husband know you value what he does out in the world, and that he has a safe loving place to come home and get refreshed at the end of the day.
Getting Creative
There are plenty of reasons why it might not be easy for you to give your husband some transition time at the end of the day. You need to look at what can work for your relationship. Be creative, like the stories listed below. Brainstorm with your friends until you find a situation that will work for you and your guy.

• My friend, Joann, purposely scheduled her daughter’s dance classes twice a week at the same hour that her husband gets home from work. That way, her hubby comes home to an empty house. He gets some quiet, and she gets a more peaceful man.

• One husband has his workshop out in the garage. His wife encourages him to go and hang out there for a while before dinner. (Since starting this arrangement, her husband has started helping out with the after-dinner clean up. Nice side benefit.)

• Crockpots are The Husband Project’s best friend. Set your crockpot to be finished thirty minutes after your husband gets home from work. Let him know that you don’t need anything until dinner is ready. Don’t know a crockpot from a flower pot? Check out the recipes in The Ultimate Guide to Man Food at www.kathilipp.com

• Does your husband already have a great transition routine after getting home? Find some other little thing to bless that time. Maybe it’s making sure the TV is available, his favorite sweats are clean and ready to be changed into, or there’s a cold soda waiting for him in the fridge. It may be so small that he doesn’t even notice. That’s okay – you’ll know what you did.
• What if your husband works from home? Maybe the best way to help him relax is to ask what he would like the schedule to be. Does he want dinner before or after he gets some time to recharge? Ask him what would make his night better.